make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
