Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize