He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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