Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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