Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
