your room smells of hookers.
And success
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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