don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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