Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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