if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
