We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we made out on top of his cat.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
