the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
