Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
