So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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