you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
