It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
