Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
