It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
