You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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