The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
