She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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