i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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