i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize