That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
