He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
