i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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