I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
