Non-Jews are for practice
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
