Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize