Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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