i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
