im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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