Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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