I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize