I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
