I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
