i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
