I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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