Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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