sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
