Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
