i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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