She is in my trunk
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
