Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
