Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
