i jhust puked up my retainher.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
