wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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