I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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