Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
