You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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