I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
