awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
