I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
