Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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