my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
