Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
