she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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