please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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