even my farts smell like vagina
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
