i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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